Jurassic Cranes
by KeepingUpDisappearances
Summary: The Seattle gang goes to San Francisco to surprise Frasier on his birthday. He's thrilled to see them after so long, and he has a surprise for them, too. The gates of Jurassic Park are open again, this time in San Francisco! Along the way is excitement, terror, and for Frasier, a startling revelation about a friend. [Update 3/1/2019: moved to crossover section]
1. A Dino Sized Surprise

"Honestly, you big dope, you didn't think we'd forget your birthday, did you?"

Frasier turned and smiled, first at Roz, and the at the rest of the Seattle gang, all of whom were looking over downtown San Francisco from his loft apartment.

"I didn't even get a card from any of you," Frasier protested. "What was I supposed to think?"

"Don't be daft," Daphne told him. "Leave you alone in a new city on your birthday? Besides, I've nearly gone out of me mind taking care of David so long. I'm glad Ronee agreed to watch him; now Niles and I can have a second honeymoon."

"Yes, we're looking for a nice beach," Niles said.

"Niles, this is _California_ ," Frasier said dryly. "You can practically walk with your eyes closed and hit a beach."

"We want a nice, _secluded_ beach," Niles slyly clarified, and Daphne giggled.

"All right, you two, stop acting like a couple of hormonal teenagers," Martin said, rolling his eyes. "Now, why don't we have some cake?"

Over cake and wine, the 'Seattle Cranes' and Roz sat in Frasier's living room and talked about their scheme. Make it seem as if they'd forgotten about him, and then show up at sundown. It had worked well; Frasier had briefly wondered if he'd gone around the bend when he saw Martin, Niles, Daphne, and Roz show up at his doorstep. But there they were, and he was overjoyed. So much had happened since he'd left Seattle. His detour to Chicago had led to him being snubbed again by Charlotte; in San Francisco, he had not been pleased with his new television show ( _The Frasier Crane Hour_ ) and had quit—much to Bebe's consternation. Frasier had gone back to private practice, but after five months in San Francisco, he still felt oddly discontent.

"What do you want to do tomorrow, Frasier?" Daphne asked.

"Huh?" Frasier broke out of his reverie.

"Pay attention, Frasier," Niles said. "What do you want to do tomorrow?"

"Yes, we'll go anywhere you want, even an opera or a snooty wine club," Roz declared bravely. "Just for you."

"Actually…I want to take you to something you will never see anywhere else in the world," Frasier said.

"If it's the Jelly Belly factory, we've already been there," Martin informed him.

Frasier glanced at a clock; it was eight p.m. He smiled mysteriously and picked up the remote control.

"Just you see," he proclaimed.

The television flashed on to show Governor Schwarzenegger standing at a podium, with the San Francisco foothills behind him. At the bottom of the screen was a headline: GOVERNOR TO ADDRESS OPENING OF 'JURASSIC PARK'.

The Seattle crew had heard very little of the Isla Nublar disaster many years before or the recent announcement that a new Jurassic Park had been built in the hills north of San Francisco. All of them (including Frasier, at the time) had brushed off the incident at Isla Nublar as conspiracy nonsense.

"Not this again," Roz groaned. "Frasier, you don't really believe this cloned dinosaur nonsense, do you? It's just a them par-,"

"Shhh," Frasier said. Governor Schwarzenegger was speaking.

"Citizens of our great state," he said, "tomorrow, California—no, the whole world—will see a new era. A park with real dinosaurs has been resurrected—permission granted from President Bush himself. The founder of InGen has demonstrated that the park will be safe for all. Without further ado, I give you the visionary himself—Dr. John Hammond."

He stepped aside and Dr. Hammond took his place at the podium. Dr. Hammond wore his disarming, grandfatherly smile as he gripped his amber-headed cane, and the shade of his Panama hat did not hide the gleam in his eyes.

"My friends," he said in that magnetic, cultured, British voice, "I have never given up on my dream to show the whole world what it was like when dinosaurs ruled the earth. Yes, what happened on Isla Nublar was a tragedy, but we learn from the most terrible of mistakes, not run. For how rich would our lives be if we shrank away in fear? Did we stop sending man into space after the _Columbia_ disaster? Cease building towers after 9/11? No. We learned. We grew. Tomorrow, the past will meet the present once again. Welcome…to Jurassic Park."

The camera panned toward what looked like a military fortress nestled on a large hill, except that this "fortress" had dozens of tropical trees rising from it. Above an iron gate was an arch with letters reading: JURASSIC PARK: 65 MILLION YEARS IN THE MAKING.

Frasier snapped the television off and smiled.

"I'd like to take all of you to Jurassic Park tomorrow."

"This sounds absolutely preposterous," Martin said, "but a governor wouldn't go through all that trouble for a joke—even a braggart showman like Arnold."

Frasier's family and his best friend then bid him goodnight and went back to their hotel. Frasier smiled as he closed the door. What an outing they'd have. A dinosaur park was ridiculous. Impossible. _Thrilling_.

* * *

"It's…it's…it's a dinosaur," Martin said faintly.

"Three dinosaurs," Daphne said, looking farther.

It was a splendid afternoon, for the California sun was out in all its glory and the air was warm and balmy. It was the perfect day for seeing dinosaurs, and Jurassic Park surrounded them. The early crowds had dispersed, so it was easier to get a good view of the first paddock, which was home to graceful brachiosaurs.

"I always thought science was for nerds," Roz said in her usual blunt way, "but if science can give us _this…_ I still wonder if I'm dreaming!"

"You're not," Daphne said calmly, before adding with a grin, "And might I remind you all that it was a British person who invented Jurassic Park? You Americans have a lot of catching up to do."

"The implications are alarming, though," Niles murmured in a brooding tone. "Science is a beautiful and dangerous thing. It can—,"

"Oh, don't be an old fusspot and come look at these cute ankylosaurs," Daphne said playfully as they moved on. "They look like little tanks with legs."

"Yeah, and they can shatter _your_ legs," Roz said dryly as she looked at an informational sign.

They moved from one paddock to the next in absolute amazement. They didn't feel uneasy, either. Every paddock was surrounded by a thick, high, clear wall of a new material called 'Steelglass'. InGen had proclaimed it was unbreakable—already construction companies in hurricane and tornado prone places were putting up bids for the patent.

Their collective feeling of disbelief relaxed a little when they saw the coelphysis. She was a gangly, skinny, sharp-faced creature that looked like a velociraptor that had been on a diet too long. She stood in the shade of a large banana tree and looked suspiciously at the humans, while holding a piece of meat in her narrow fingers. She took one small bite and threw it down with a disdainful look.

"You know, that dinosaur kind of looks like Maris," Martin said. "Alarmingly skinny, permanent look of superiority…"

"Cold-blooded," Frasier chimed in.

"Vengeful killer…" Daphne muttered, still not forgetting the hell Maris had put her and Niles through.

"But it's all long over, my pet," Niles said reassuringly, giving his wife a quick hug.

"It says here that the coelphysis lived in deep rainforests and rarely came out into the sunlight," Martin said. "This dinosaur is sounding more like Maris every minute."

"Come on, you lot," Roz said in annoyance. "We're going to miss the mosasaur show!"

The enraptured crowd was delighted when they saw the gargantuan, shark-like reptile leaping into the air to chomp down…well, a shark. Martin was especially thrilled, declaring that the gator feeding he had seen in Florida looked silly compared to this.

"I have to come back here and bring Alice to see this. She's be thrilled!" Roz declared.

Now there was one dinosaur left to see—Tyrannosaurus Rex herself.

The rex paddock was heavily fortified; the wall was taller and thicker, as well topped with electrified metal railings.

The rex was easy to see; her paddock was smaller, thus giving visitors a better chance of seeing her up close. She was nosing around in the tall grass while a stunned audience watched. Then, in an instant, she snapped her jaws shut on something. When she tossed her head back, everyone gasped (and a few children cried): the tyrannosaur had just eaten a goat.

The crowd burst into cheers, clapping and screaming, some jumping up and down in excitement. The rex suddenly became agitated, stomping her feet and snapping her jaws. What this crowd did not know was that she'd been putting up with this all day. There was no where to go to escape the noise of the crowd. The rex was the park's biggest attraction, and she suffered for it.

An agonized moan escaped the creature's toothy jaws.

"Wow, she's fierce!" someone yelled.

Rexy roared again—and then charged the wall, smashing at it with her head and tail.

"You were kind of like Rexy when you were pregnant," Niles chirped.

"Oh, shut up, you," Daphne said, but she laughed. "I was a pain, wasn't I?"

"You were still my angel, just a little hormonal. Okay, a lot hormonal," Niles said wickedly.

They had temporarily been distracted from Rexy's furor, but their heads snapped up when they heard a large cracking sound. The Steelglass was cracking.

"Run!" someone yelled.

There was no laughing now. It was absolute pandemonium as everyone took to their heels. Everyone, that is, but Frasier and the people he held most dear. A sobering thought had occurred to him, and when he gave Niles, Daphne, and Roz a swift look, he knew they had realized the same thing.

They had a chance at escape, and Martin didn't. Instinctively, they drew closer to him as the crowd stampeded by, watching the glass slowly cracking. Martin realized what they were doing and he turned to his sons.

"Go, all of you. Save yourselves," he whispered.

"Like hell," Roz hissed.

"We're not going anywhere, old man," Daphne murmured.

Frasier and Niles couldn't speak, but they pressed even closer to their father. The crowd was far away by then, but the rex was still trashing about.

Then—a miracle. A cart driven by a park employee raced by.

"I can take one," she said quickly. "Hurry!"

"Martin," Roz said in that voice that could quell almost anyone, "get on."

Martin seemed resigned to their insistence, gave one heartbreaking, parting look, and got on the cart. The driver wasted no time zooming away. Frasier, Niles, Daphne, and Roz were all alone. They watched the rex continue to hurl herself against the wall.

One more charge…

Amid a shower of glass shards, the tyrannosaur stepped onto the path. The electrified poles hit her hard skull and bounced off; she hardly noticed the shock. Rexy was staring with the eyes of a hounded animal at its breaking point.

* * *

 ** _Ok, this is pretty weird, huh? Frasier x Jurassic Park? Please stay with me..._**


	2. Run Like Hell

Alone with the prehistoric creature, Frasier, Niles, Daphne, and Roz huddled together. The rex was sniffing the air and looking everywhere with her keen eyes. Then, like a bloodhound on point, she caught the scent of the only humans in the vicinity. _The enemy_. The tortured creature didn't want revenge; she only wanted peace. And taking out the enemy was the only way.

"She's coming closer," Daphne said in the barest whisper.

"Want to take back the comment about the British genius?" Niles teased in an undertone, trying to soothe her.

"I take back what I said about science," Roz whispered.

The rex stepped forward, making small earthquakes with her feet.

Then…

A large truck came swooping into the courtyard, startling the tyrannosaur; out jumped ten heavily armored men carrying what looked souped-up assault rifles. They shot at the rex immediately, but the brick-sized bullets only put puncture wounds in the creature's tough skin. The pain sent her into madness.

Roz had a sudden inspiration.

"The eye!" she screamed. "Shoot her in the eye! That will confuse her and then you can finish her!"

"Roz…let the dinosaur experts do their work," Frasier hissed.

"It works for sharks," Roz muttered.

"I'm not sure if you noticed, but that's not a shark," he snapped.

Most of the dinosaur handlers, however, took Roz's idea seriously. One of them aimed for its left eye and pulled the trigger, but a panicked comrade hissed, "you'll just make her crazy!"

The first dinosaur handler startled at this as he shot, and it was a miss. Roz groaned as the bullet hit the rex's sensitive nose, aggravating her. With one swish of her mighty tail, she sent the handers crashing to the ground, killing them instantly. Frasier gasped in horror before he could stop himself; the rex heard and turned back. She remembered them.

They huddled together, scarcely daring to breathe, but the rex was coming to them fearlessly once more. She wasn't enraged now, merely broken and wanting to take out her fear on the closest living creature.

It was stay put and die or run and die trying.

They ran, following the lights that had snapped on after sunset had ended.

The ground shook as the rex pursued the four humans, bellowing furiously. Niles had Daphne's hand in a death grip, and Frasier held tightly to Roz's hand. They were running until their breaths seared in their lungs.

Then…something, or rather a group of something, crashed into a Steelglass wall, shattering it; a pack of stegosaurs broke through, terrified.

One of them crashed into a large sign bearing a map of the park. The sign fell forward, right into the path of Frasier and Roz. He shoved her away to keep her from being hit by the sign.

It fell, pinning him to the ground.

The rex, who had momentarily been distracted by the stegos, looked for its enemy—humans. The only one it could see was Roz. Frasier was, of course, under the sign, and Niles and Daphne had found somewhere to shelter. Roz was running, looking for somewhere to hide.

And the Roz screamed as a stray stegosaur caused her to fall backward. She landed badly on her right leg and tried to stand up but couldn't.

Frasier, who saw this all playing out before him, was helpless. He tried

desperately to crawl out from the sign but failed. The rex was getting closer and closer to Roz, and even in the soft glow from the lamps he could see the terror on her face. Any minute now it would be over.

It was then that Frasier had a sudden moment of revelation. For the past few minutes, he had been thinking over and over, _my best friend is going to die and I can't do anything to stop it._

 _Friend? Is that all?_ said a voice in the back of his mind.

In one instant, images flashed before his mind; Roz's sassy smile, the teasing gleam in her eyes, the loving look she gave to her daughter…

Then he knew. How could he have not seen it before?

With a sickening feeling, Frasier watched the dinosaur stretch out its toothy muzzle to Roz, who was almost faint with terror. Any minute the creature would take her, and he couldn't imagine life without her.

"Oy! Jurassic Jerk! Over here!"

Both the dinosaur and Roz whirled to see an amazing sight. Frasier couldn't turn around, but he knew who was there. There was no mistaking that voice.

Standing in the middle of the path with a flashlight in one hand and some strange object in the other was a woman who was almost as fierce as Rexy.

 _Bebe_?

"Go!" Roz shrieked, trying heroically to bring the rex's attention back to herself.

But Bebe was so focused on the rex that she did not hear—or maybe she wasn't going to listen. The enormous reptile was gaining stride now. Bebe raised the strange object she was holding, and Roz saw that it was a globe showing prehistoric continents—it was from the visitor center. It was a rather bizarre sight. What was Bebe trying to do with the globe?

"Take that, you overfed lizard!" Bebe crowed, and threw it to the rex.

The agitated animal snapped up the shining object blindly. Perhaps it thought it was food, or maybe a threat that had to be destroyed. Either way, the result was the same. There was a terrible gurgling sound, as if a geyser was about to explode; the rex was choking, and in the beam of the flashlight Roz could see that Bebe was watching the tyrannosaur with cool fascination.

The rex opened her great jaws, trying to cough up the globe, but she couldn't. The choking sounds died out, the dinosaur wheezed terribly, and then she toppled over, falling into the street with a crash that shook the ground.

"Don't mess with Bebe Glazer, _Rexy_ ," she said triumphantly, looking at the fallen creature.

Niles and Daphne came out from behind a fallen stegosaur and stared in disbelief at Bebe, who was standing over the dead tyrannosaur and looking at it as casually as if it was just a bug she had squished.

"Stop staring and go help _them_ ," Bebe ordered shortly, nodding toward Roz and Frasier, but just then, another crew of dinosaur handlers and a medical truck came roaring to a stop.

While the medical crew helped Frasier and Roz, the dinosaur handlers were staring disbelievingly at the sight before them; a smartly dressed woman with a look of cool contempt on her face, and a prehistoric beast at her feet, out cold.

"Darlings," she said to them condescendingly, "no need to haul out those big guns. Bebe took care of your little dinosaur problem."


	3. Rex and Romance

Amazingly, no visitor to the park was seriously injured; most of them had taken shelter in the visitor's center. Even Frasier and Roz had checked out all right; Roz merely had a minor strain in one ankle and aside from being rather sore, Frasier had not suffered from being pinned down under the sign.

Martin was overcome with emotion when he saw his family and Roz; he cried from joy and relief as he hugged them. This was rather startling, for he had not shown so much emotion since Frasier had left for San Francisco. But what he did next surprised everyone—perhaps even himself. He hugged Bebe, too.

"Thank you for saving my family and our good friend," he said.

"Oh, darling, it was nothing," Bebe purred. "Now, let's get out of here before more folks come babbling about how I saved everyone."

By the time they got back to Frasier's apartment, it was almost midnight, for it was pandemonium driving down the dark foothill roads with dozens of other cars.

"You lot settle down," Daphne said, taking charge as the entered the apartment. "I'll go into the kitchen and cook for all of us."

"Hey, we just escaped the rex!" Martin exclaimed. "I don't want to put my life at risk again."

"Shut up, old man," Daphne said fondly, knowing that her father-in-law was just teasing.

"Sherry, anyone?" Frasier asked, and Niles smiled. It reminded him of old times.

"Now that we're back and all in one piece," Bebe said as everyone but Daphne settled into Frasier's living room, "I should explain why I'm here."

"How did you _get_ here?" Frasier asked suddenly. "How did you know we were at Jurassic Park?"

"Simple logic, darling," Bebe said grandly. "Roz told me that lot was going down to see you, and I figured you'd do something special on your birthday…and what could be more special than a dinosaur park?"

"In other words, stalking," Niles baited her.

"Hey, my 'stalking' saved your lives from that rampaging lizard. What a monster," Bebe said archly.

"It wasn't her fault," Martin said. "Humans played with science and brought an extinct creature into an alien world that she didn't understand."

"That's what _I_ was pointing out, _Dad_ ," Niles said triumphantly. "Dr. Hammond thought he had everything in order, but nothing in science is completely order—,"

"Oh, boil your head," Bebe interrupted. "Frasier, you're in really high demand. Are you sure you won't try the _Frasier Crane Hour_ again? I'll give you more say in how it's run."

"I can't, Bebe," Frasier said firmly.

"Stubborn man," Bebe said. She looked as if she wanted to say more, but at that moment, they heard Daphne's voice from the kitchen.

"Dinner's ready! Don't worry, old man, it's safe to eat!"

Everyone rose, but Frasier walked to the window that looked out over the city. Roz, who was too proud to accept assistance in walking to the kitchen, was the only one who noticed.

Frasier looked out over the city with a brooding expression; out to the very foothills sparkled little points of light, and in the distance the Golden Gate Bridge glowed dimly behind the encroaching fog. There was a faint glow in the dark hills—the lights of Jurassic Park.

"Frasier?"

Frasier turned away from the window and saw Roz looking at him with concern.

"Are you all right?" she queried softly.

"As well as can be expected," he answered. "I've just been thinking…"

"About what?" Roz asked in a gentle voice.

"I feel like I don't belong here, after all," Frasier said, briefly looking over the city again. "Even before tonight, I felt like I don't belong."

"Then where _do_ you think you belong?" Roz asked, her voice cracking slightly. "You're going to leave us again?"

"I think…" Frasier said slowly, "that I should have stayed in Seattle. I was too hasty. All of you were starting new chapters in your lives, and I went with my first reaction, feeling if I stayed, I would always feel like an outsider. I was wrong—moving so far away didn't solve anything. I only felt more like an outsider."

"You should have listened to us," Roz said with a weak laugh.

"But I didn't realize until tonight just how foolish I had been to abandon everyone," Frasier continued, his voice becoming wistful. "When I saw the rex go after you, I realized in an instant that there was something else for me in Seattle, beside my family. Something special…only I was too blind to see it until that fateful moment."

"What was it?" Roz said.

"You," Frasier answered.

" _Me?_ " Roz gasped. "I don't understand…"

Frasier gave her a long, lingering look, and Roz looked back with an expression that said she now understood. Her reaction, however, was the last thing Frasier had expected—or wanted. She suddenly burst into tears.

"Roz…" Frasier said. "What did I say? I didn't mean to hurt you."

Roz looked up at him and blinked through her tears.

"You care…that much?" she choked.

"Yes, I do, but I'm not asking you for anything. I just wanted to be open with you. When I thought you were going to be killed…"

Frasier got no further, for Roz suddenly flung her arms around him and pressed her lips to his. Frasier almost pulled back in surprise, but soon gave in to the kiss, feeling more secure than he ever had been in many months. This was not like any kiss he'd had with his various "flings". This was a true lover's kiss—sensual and inviting, yet sweet and tender. He returned Roz's gesture of love with a vengeance, giving her a kiss that left her breathless.

"I want to go back," Frasier whispered. "For you and Alice. For my family."

"I think I can get you a time slot at KACL again. Everyone misses you, even Bulldog," Roz said pertly, and then her voice softened. "Oh, Frasier, when you left, I missed you so much. I realized that I really _did_ see you as more than a friend, but I thought it was too late by then. I can't believe this is finally happening."

She kissed him again.

"Hate to break it up, lovebirds, but you both need to eat."

Frasier and Roz turned around and were slightly abashed to see that they had an audience; Daphne was standing there, grinning knowingly at her brother-in-law and at her best friend.

"How long have you been watching?" Roz demanded, reluctantly freeing herself from Frasier's arms.

"I just walked in, honest," Daphne said.

They headed into the dining room, where the others were gathered. Hot dishes were steaming on the table, and they all ate eagerly.

Toward the end of the meal, Frasier stood up and said he had an announcement. Roz and Daphne were unperturbed, but Martin and Niles glanced at each other. The last time Frasier had made an announcement, it was that he was…

"I'm moving again," Frasier announced, confirming their thoughts.

"Again?" Niles said anxiously. "How far are you going this time?"

"Yes, where now?" Martin asked glumly, as if resigned to hear the worst.

"Seattle."

This was so unexpected that Niles replied stupidly, " _Which_ Seattle?"

"The big one. Cold. Rainy. Has the Space Needle," Frasier said, obviously taking great amusement in his brother's reaction.

"Why, son?" Martin demanded. "I mean, it will be wonderful to have you back, but this was the last thing I expected!"

"There were too many people I couldn't leave behind in Seattle," Frasier said. "You, and Niles and Daphne, and David, and…"

He paused, and Roz nudged Frasier. "Don't be shy, tell them."

"Roz…and Alice, too, of course. Just wait until she hears that 'Uncle Frasier' is dating her mom," he grinned.

Niles had looked less thunderstruck when he'd been in the path of the T-rex. He glanced from Frasier to Roz, raising his eyebrows in disbelief when he saw them give each other an affectionate, loving look. There was no doubting Frasier's meaning now. Martin looked surprised at first, and then pleased.

"I really wanted you crazy kids to get together," he said happily. "Of course, I was hoping it would be sooner…"

"Exactly. Now Frasier can't say that Daphne and I took too long," Niles said mischievously.

Daphne spoke up in that misty, slightly detached voice none of them had heard since she and Niles had gotten together.

"You know, I sometimes had visions of you two getting together, but you were both resisting for so long that I thought perhaps I wasn't really psychic. I guess I am, after all. I'm just like me Grammy Moon."

"It was really the T-rex that brought me to my senses," Frasier declared, and then laughed. "I can't believe I said that with a straight face, but it's true. To Rexy."

He raised his glass of sherry in a mock toast.

"When are you coming back?" Roz asked eagerly.

"I'll take three or four weeks to tie up some loose ends," Frasier said, "and I imagine I'll have a lot of patients who need help getting over the T-rex attack!"

"I say that the best therapy would be giving John Hammond a kick in the pants," muttered Bebe, who had been surprisingly silent.

"I think he'd rather have that," Frasier without humor; he now sounded like he did when speaking with a patient—musing and thoughtful. "I think what Hammond will fear more than any other punishment is the final destruction of his dream and the loss of the wonder and amazement people held for his beloved park."

"Oh, can it, Frasier," Roz said sassily, but she was looking at him fondly.

"Anything for you, my love," Frasier said affectionately, and then turned to the others.

"Tomorrow, I'm taking you all out to see the city—and don't worry, there will be no dinosaurs to chase us!"

THE END


End file.
